I pose this question to you and to myself. You see, I started thinking about it because of the kutbah on Friday. The khatib reminded us that Allah is not accountable to us but rather we are accountable to Allah. We demand an explanation for things but Allah does not owe us an explanation about the things that he does or why he does them. The khatib also talked about how we, as Muslims, as human beings, say we love Allah and that we worship Allah alone but we do so with limitations. What does he mean? It means that we love and obey Allah within the boundaries of our own emotional and personal comfort zones. You know, as long as we are getting we what we want. Or enough to assuage our feelings of guilt. But when push comes to shove how many of can say that we REALLY love Allah and that we REALLY put our trust in him? Or do we utter the words but as soon as something goes wrong we start blaming Allah and asking why he is doing to us what he is doing to us? How many of us say “mashallah” and keep on loving Allah and worshipping him nonetheless because we know whatever tests he sends our way are all to our benefit? Even if it hurts…even if we don’t understand it.
What if Allah took away everything you had? (May Allah not test any of us with such a burden. Ameen). What if Allah took away some of the things you have? What if Allah handed you a very difficult test that you didn’t understand? How do you react? Do you become angry? Do you take pity on yourself? Do you ask, “Why me Allah?” Do you work tirelessly (against your own soul and better judgement) to try and fix things even it means disobeying Allah? Do you tell yourself your disobedience is okay because of your extenuating circumstances? Or do you turn to Allah and ask for guidance? Do you ask Allah to grant you patience? Do you ask Allah to help you learn the lesson you need to learn or pass the test you need to pass even if you don’t understand the test and it appears to have no rhyme or reason? I guess the question I am asking you (and myself) is do you REALLY trust Allah? How strong is your iman? And how willing are you to accept Allah’s Qadr?
I’ve heard about (and personally know) sisters and brothers who have left the deen because of the hardships or tests Allah is blessed them with. (That’s right I say blessed because every test is blessing because it is something Allah is trying to teach us). I know our ummah has it’s share of problems and that other Muslims sometimes make it difficult for us to exist as Muslims. But if a sister leaves Islam because Allah tested her with a horrible husband or a brother leaves because he fell out with some other brothers in the Muslim community what does it say about their trust in Allah? At the end of the day, what does the person or experience have to do with their obligation to Allah? (And believe me, I understand that sometimes people are new to Islam and they haven’t been shown the best example. I get that. I’m just sayin’.) NO ONE, insha’allah, is going to cause me to leave this deen because I understand some things about it. Alhamdulillah, I am still Muslim because I KNOW that my relationship with Allah is bigger and heavier than any fitnah in the Muslim community, relationship with my friends, family or spouse. But mashallah, I have been blessed with this understanding by Allah.
And trust me, I am not speaking from a holier-than-position either. I struggle with these issues all the time. I “took a break” from Islam because of the things that happened to me when I was a new shahadah. But I never stopped wanting to be Muslim and I never gave up on myself or Allah. ALHAMDULILAAH! It took some time for me to understand the purpose of tests and to really get it through my head that I would not always understand why I was given the ones I was given. I had to accept that being Muslim is not always a comfortable ride. Allah says in Sura 29, Ayahs 2-3, “
Do people think they will be left alone as long as they say, “We believe,” without their being tried? We indeed tried those before them, and Allah does know who were truthful, and does indeed know who were false.
During those times I couldn’t say “mashallah” about the tests I was given. And I certainly couldn’t stop trying to fix things even when Allah was showing me that I had no control. I actually spoke about giving up control to Allah but I was never really in control to begin with. I was only kidding myself. But again, ALHAMDULILLAH, Allah started putting me in situations where I had no one else to turn to for help BUT HIM. And even when I couldn’t quite grasp that lesson, Allah kept putting me in the same predicament until a light came on in my head. Like, “Oh, I get it now!” (Charles you wanted ‘Muslim testifying’, well, I’m testifying, lol).
We talk all the time about Qadr but how willing are we to accept it? Yes, we need to do what we can within the bounds of our limited free will. And no, we shouldn’t stand passively by in this life, watch things happen and chalk it up to Qadr. But there is way in which we can carry our portion of the load but at the same time accept Allah’s Qadr. (Even more so when things happen that we do not like). But I digress….
The question still remains. Is Allah enough for you? If you didn’t have all that you currently have or if you had to start from scratch or if things weren’t going your way, would your love, faith and trust in Allah still be enough for you?
Mi done preach…