It’s amazing how things change in a year. Last May I wrote this post about Muslim women who have said they’re never getting married again. I strongly urged sisters to rethink their stance and said: “I am not going to let one person or even a couple of people deprive me of my right to love again. If you truly believe in Allah and believe that Allah can do anything then I don’t see why some sisters can’t believe that Allah will provide. No matter how dismal it looks.” While I still stand by that statement, I have to say, the thought of never getting married again has crossed my mind on a regular basis. It’s not that I don’t believe Allah can provide for me- because I do- it’s just sad to see the same ole stuff from brothers. I can definitely understand why sisters get tired of trying to sort through brother after brother, hoping for the right match. And even when you think you’ve found the right match you can never be sure. The brother can turn out to be a real beast. (And we already know how many communities protect triflin’ brothers but have no problem outing triflin’ sisters).
I’m not seriously looking for anyone right now but I’ve had brothers try to holler at me. These schmucks have given me pause- FOR REAL. There’s the ex-con, the ultra aggressive chauvinist, the brother who told me “paradise lies under the foot of the husband”, the deceiver, the game player and so much more. What a sad situation!
So, let me say to the sisters I wrote about back in May of last year: I am totally feelin’ you. Last year I didn’t fully understand where you’re coming from but I do now. Am I suggesting that I’ve given up on getting married again? No. But there are times when I feel like it’s not worth it. During those times I think about resigning myself to traveling, reading, studying, cats, and enjoying the companionship of male relatives. No headache and no b.s.
As the old song goes, I can do bad by myself.