Not having it…

Scenario 1: Recently, my sister and I were in a very long line at one of the local restaurants. As we stood there, waiting for the woman ahead of us to finish ordering, another group of women rushed to the head of the line and looked as if they were going to cut everyone off and place their order. Immediately, I looked at my sister with raised my eyebrows. We both understood that we weren’t having such rude behavior. (We had already been in line for a good 10 minutes). I looked back at the other people in line and they looked prepared to say something as well. Fortunately, the women caught everyone’s hint and eased themselves to the back of the line.

Scenario 2: My sister and I went to a bakery (in the same food market as the aforementioned restaurant). We were in front of the glass practically salivating over the sweets. We were trying to make a decision about which item to purchase but had some questions. I tried to catch the eye of the woman who was working in the bakery but she looked right past us to an Asian woman that entered the store. The bakery employee promptly rose from her chair and proceeded to answer all of the questions the woman had. It was as if we didn’t exist. I gave my sister the raised eyebrows again. You know what I did next? Walked right out that store and took my business to another bakery in the same complex. See ya!

I don’t know if it’s just me but I’ve noticed that people are tired of taking disrespect from others. I’m not sure if the economy and the tough times has anything to do with it but tensions seem to be at an all time high. People simply aren’t having it anymore. I’m certainly not.

Here is a list of things that I’m simply not having anymore:

(1) Disrespectful behavior from others. Poor etiquette. Rudeness. Call it whatever you like but I’m tired of playing the nice, polite role while disrespectful, rude people carry on with their behavior. Tired of other people telling me I should “just ignore” the behavior. Yes, insha’allah, I will pick and choose my battles but I will also challenge some of the offensive behavior when it’s done to me.

(2) People invalidating my feelings on a matter because they haven’t had a similar experience. This happens frequently in the Muslim community. For example, a sister complains about the mistreatment of women in the community and another sister (or a group of sisters) start saying “Well, I (we) haven’t had that experience” or “That hasn’t happened to me.” (Read: it’s just you, you’re being too sensitive, it’s not that big of a deal etc.)

(3) Smooth-talking, game-playing, holier-than-thou, self-righteous brothers trying to correct me on my deen while simultaneously trying to holler.

(4) Downplaying my “fabulousness”, my level of confidence so other women won’t feel uncomfortable or intimidated by me. I am who I am and if you can’t accept it then that’s your problem!

(5) People dropping by my blog (this one or the other two) not to engage in conversation or to offer constructive criticism but to spread their negativity. Those kinds of comments will be deleted.

(5) All talk and no follow through. I’m not hearing what you’re saying anymore, I’m watching how you behave.
As the old song goes, “Action, not a bag a mouth.”

I’m done!


10 responses to “Not having it…

  1. Great list! 🙂 I don’t know what is UP with rude people, and I really hate people cutting in line, or acting like they don’t know where the end of the line is and cutting in that way.

  2. Phew! Once again, you are spot on with this post! I think the recession has caused folks to lose their minds and home training along with their funds.

    I walked into a clothing store on Friday looking for a dress to attend a friend’s wedding. I observed how all of the other customers were repeatedly being asked if they were finding everything OK, would like to start a fitting room, or wanted help blinking *rolls eyes*. Meanwhile, no one paid me any attention. I happily took my invisible self to another store where I received the best service and was happy to part with my hard-earned ducats.

    I was at the Tire & Lube section of a big Superstore today waiting for an attendant to help me for a good while. The sign said to wait for someone to come help you, so I sat in my car and listened 2 very long house songs as I watched not 1, not 2, but 3 attendants glance at my car and keep piddling around before I got out. I stood in the pouring rain for another minute before I got someone’s attention. I know they saw me as I have an SUV and was the only car sitting there. Umm, Sir?! Would you like to do your job today?

    I know I’m not invisible. And I know these folks were trained on basic customer service skills. Why, in this economy, do you think it’s OK to act up at work? *le sigh*

    I totally support “Action, not a bag of mouth” and not downplaying your fabulousness. And you know I’m over here cracking up at that pic, right? Classic!

  3. sistafromanotherplanet

    You hit the nail on head. HARD! I went through the “not having my feelings validated” experience this past Friday. I hate when people do that!
    As far as your bakery incident, I would have and have done the exact same thing. If they don’t want my money I am sure not about to beg them to take it! It’s too easy to go elsewhere.
    You better keep being fabulous Mama! You are totally right, it’s those other folks with the problem, not you. Do You and Do the hell out of it!!!
    peace and blessings

  4. I would let the management of the restaurant/bakery know that you were taking your business elsewhere because of x, y and z. Having worked in food service for years, nothing shakes things up like a customer saying they’re not partronizing you anymore.

  5. *The anonymity that the Internet provides will make people do/say crazy things (i.e. any comments on YouTube)

    *Some people like to live in their own bubble, the world is an ugly place, sugar coating it makes life more palatable i guess

    *”Downplaying my fabulousness?”: my new fave sentence! LMAO.


    take a bow…I couldnt have said it better myself……


  7. LOVE IT. All of it. Especially Angela Basset lighting up a car! And #2 & #4.

    I really want to meet you someday.

    And I’m sorry if/when I don’t follow through–yours is one of the only blogs I comment on (sporadically, I know), but I’m always reading. 🙂

  8. People can only do to you you what you allow. Big ups on no longer allowing foolishness. I am so on board with that its ridiculous.

  9. I really enjoy your posts! Wondering if you live in Philly, re: the rudeness comments…just moved, and never realized how professional and nice people can be in other places. Do miss the large Muslim community in Philly, though.

    Keep on posting – really liking it!

  10. No she did not put Bernadine at the end LOL!!! I hear ya on walking out of that store. I REFUSE to buy ANYTHING from the Somali mall. Some of those people are rude.

    The brother tryna holla, yuk, they get on my nerves. I had a married one tryna cry on my shoulder, I was like dude, go cry to your non Muslim wife…Cause this ish is for the birds.

    I’m to the point where I don’t talk to folks about what I’m feeling because when they try to discount my feelings, the rage that builds up in my chest is to much for me to take. I just go and talk to Allah.

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