Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un

As saalam alaikum everyone,

These last few days have been unreal. My ex-husband was recently killed in a car accident while on his way home from Taraweeh. (May Allah grant him the highest place in Jannah. Ameen.) Though he was my ex-husband we were still very good friends. His death has reminded me that none of us are promised tomorrow.

To be honest with you, I carry some guilt which I know is irrational. Just a couple weeks ago we had spoken and he was telling me he thought we should remarry. I told him it wasn’t a good idea. I keep thinking about how lonely he was living in his apartment by himself (he invited me to come over many times but I declined), his desire to have children (he felt he was getting old) and how much he missed our relationship. I feel guilty for being so stubborn…at minimum I could’ve been kinder to him even though I didn’t think getting back together was a good idea.

Here is the article:

A ‘trailblazer,’ crash victim was ‘coming into his own’


August 24, 2009

No one knows exactly where he was coming from early Sunday — perhaps a mosque or the food shelf where he volunteered — but Moussa Maayif definitely had his life together when it ended so tragically in St. Paul.

A native of Mauritania in northwestern Africa, Maayif, 39, had recently been promoted at Boston Scientific, his ex-wife said Monday, and was studying for an MBA at the University of St. Thomas.

Still, he yearned for more, Shahidah Siraaj said, recalling their last conversation a few weeks ago, “something even more spiritual.” He wanted to “give back,” she said, and he was doing so by volunteering for a nonprofit group, Building Blocks.

“I think I told him that he was really coming into his own,” Siraaj said.

But at 12:15 a.m. Sunday, at University Avenue and Vandalia Street, Maayif was killed — the victim of a crash so violent that his vehicle went airborne into a utility pole, shearing it at its foundation outside the Dubliner Pub, 2162 University Av.

On Monday, as the driver of the other vehicle, Jacqueline M. Wagner, 20, was charged with criminal vehicular homicide, Siraaj said she wants his story known: “I’d like to put a face to who he is,” she said.

Though they divorced in 2007 after three years of marriage, “we were still very much friends,” she said.

On Sunday, Wagner, of New Brighton, known as Jacqui to her family, was among several hundred people watching street racing in an industrial area near University Avenue and Transfer Road, police said.

According to the complaint filed Monday in Ramsey County District Court, a police officer arrived at the scene about 12:15 a.m., and in an effort to clear the parking lots, activated his emergency lights. Wagner sped off, the complaint said, and the officer followed, shining a spotlight on her Honda Civic as she drove on Ellis Avenue — parallel to University Avenue — at more than 60 miles per hour. At Ellis Avenue and Vandalia Street, about one-third of a mile north of University Avenue, Wagner took a hard left, again at nearly twice the speed limit, and passed other vehicles by driving south in the northbound lanes, the complaint said.

For a moment, after she shifted into the proper lane on Vandalia Street, the officer thought that she might stop. Instead, Wagner allegedly sped up again, ran a red light and then struck Maayif’s vehicle, which was headed east on University Avenue.

Wagner was taken to Regions Hospital in St. Paul for treatment of minor injuries. There, police suspected she might be under the influence of drugs. A blood sample was sent to the state Bureau of Criminal Apprehension for analysis.

Jacqui’s father, Paul Wagner, has described his daughter as a “very good kid” who was devastated by what happened.

She is scheduled to make her first court appearance today.

Siraaj said she was at work when she learned that her mother, whom Maayif had listed as a contact, had been called by the medical examiner’s office. Then, the ex-wife said, she saw the news images of the shattered utility pole, and the mug shot of the suspect.

Now, Siraaj said, she thinks of his family. Maayif, one of 12 children, was “the trailblazer” who came to America on his own, and who continued to support his family financially, Siraaj said. He was a good man, she said, and she wants to make sure “he doesn’t end up like a ‘John Doe.'”

Staff writer Allie Shah contributed to this report. Anthony Lonetree • 612-673-4109

You can watch the local coverage here

Some pics of him here.


26 responses to “Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss and glad you’re able to give him a human face in this tragedy.

  2. I’m so sorry; I’m so very sorry to read about this. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’oon.

  3. I’m so sorry. Our hearts and prayers go out to you. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’oon.

  4. NaksibendiMuslimah

    Salaams ukhti,

    i know i already commented on FB, but i want to say again how sorry i am for you and your families. May Allah ease your hearts, and grant him an expanded grave and a high place in Jannah. i know that every parent thinks their child is “good” and that the situation must be painful in its own way for Wagner’s family, but i think her father’s quote was rather heartless or that the paper could have done a better job quoting him more fully if he had something more appropriate to say. i think by your putting the “human face” to your ex, and speaking of him so highly despite divorce, you are doing a dawah, inshaAllah, and also honoring him. May Allah reward you and extend His mercy upon you.

  5. sistafromanotherplanet

    I wish I were close enough to just give you hug and hold your hand.

  6. Asalaamu Alaikum

    Inna ilaihi wa inna illaihi rajiun. Sorry for your loss. Its good to know that he was doing good deeds before his death. I have an ex and I would be upset too..more so as he is a non-muslim. May Allah forgive him and grant him paradise. Amin.

  7. I am sorry for your loss and feel that the article, and your comments especially, did a great deal to convey his humanity and kind of person he was.

  8. assalaamu alaykum. i also commented on fb, but i just wanted to reiterate how sorry i am about your loss. i can’t fathom how difficult this must be for you, his family and other loved ones, and for your local muslim community in general. i am so sad reading about this. may Allah give patience to everyone whose life was touched by this brother. and may Allah grant him paradise. ameen.

  9. My dear sister, I am so sorry to hear about this loss. I can only try and give comfort by sending a hug across the miles. Be strong in faith.

  10. Salam,

    I am very sorry for your loss, for all of your families loss.

    May Allah Bless your late husband with Mercy.

    May Allah Bless you with comfort in your heart and grant you two a farewell/closure in a dream.

    And Allah Knows Best Ameen.

    Take care of yourself.

    Relish this Ramadan as never before, Inshallah.

    Love to you dear sister.

  11. I have been keeping you, him and his family in my duas constantly. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

  12. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’oon.
    I am so sorry for your loss. May Allah make it easy on you, your family and his loved ones. May Allah grant him Jannah…Amine

  13. From Allah we come and to Allah we return. Sorry for your loss, sister.

  14. May Allah grant him paradise and ease the pain you and his family are feeling at the moment. Be strong and take care of yourself, we are tested in this life. I will make dua for Maayif.

  15. Salaams,

    Inna lillahe wa inna illeyhe raji’oun. May Allah bless him with the highest levels of jannah, and grant peace and strength to you & his other loved ones who yearn for and miss him so much.

    Thank you for the beautiful tribute and reminder that no one is promised tomorrow. Subhan’Allah, may we use our time well.

    Much love to you,

  16. Pingback: Raven’s Eye

  17. Salaam Alaikum,

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    My husband is Mauritanian and knew of people who knew him – as they say. He was well liked and respected and known for his charity. It is all over the Mauritanian news. It was good of you to make sure people knew who he was too.

    Try not to be hard on yourself and take care.

    I will keep you in my dua.

  18. As Salaamu Alaikum Dear:

    I, too, am so sorry! May Allah (swt) grant him the best place in the Hereafter/Ameen.

  19. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’oon. May Allah grant him the highest level of Jannah, Ameen!

  20. May Allah give him peace, and make this time easier for you.

  21. Asaalaam Alaikum,

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un

  22. inna lillahe wa inna illahe rajioon-

    So sorry for your loss. May Allah bless him and grant him Jannah.

    These reminders come during Ramadan, and remind us we never know when we leave this life. Alhamdulillah you were able to pass along kind words of him, and let others know of his life.

    May Allah grant your heart peace

  23. Salaam alaikum,
    From Allah we come and to him we return. May Allah make it easy on you. My condolences to you and his family.

  24. JM– I am so sorry for your loss. Insha~allah Allah(swt) will forgive you both of your short commings in this life. Alhumdulilliah he passed during this most BLESSED month. Insha~allah his fast will be acepted and his sins forgiven.
    I will truely make dua for not only you but his family. One of 12…wow. Insha~allah he will say we ALL prayed for him on the day of Yawma Qiyam.
    ma salaama
    Umm Amirah

  25. As salaamu alaikum sister — may Allah grant you comfort and ease. I am sorry for your sadness and extend my condolences. I also pray that Allah SWT grants him a high station in Paradise, ameen ameen ameen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Rainbow In the grey sky

    inna lillahe wa inna illahe rajioon-

    Allah al must’aan! Myhe be spared the suffering of the grave and be in highest paridise subhanAllah we just don’t know how long we are meant to be in this dunniyyah. What a blessing to have your soul taken in the month of Ramandan and on the way back from prayers subhanAllah! May Allah give sabr to you and his loved ones ameen!

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