Alhamdulillah, I am doing better. Things have been CRAZY but Allah is always merciful. If I told you what I have been experiencing your jaws might drop. One of the things that happened to me is when I contacted various people in the community about my ex’s death they came in and completely took over, thereby excluding me. Their actions were hurtful to me on so many levels. One person actually tried to exclude me from viewing my ex’s body on the grounds that he is not Islamically “lawful” to me. WTH? I snapped on him telling him that I have seen more of my ex’s body than any of them. Besides, my ex and I had several conversations about him wanting me to take care of any arrangements in the event that he died in the United States (even after we were no longer together.) I agreed to do so. When I was prevented from being fully involved…it was like someone knocked the wind out of me. But Allah is merciful and he is the best of planners.
I was finally able to speak with my ex’s family in Mauritania through an interpreter. They thanked me for all that I have done (alhamdulillah) and told me I’m part of their family forever. Their words made the chaos, stress and hurt over being mistreated/excluded disappear. I pray that Allah make it easy for them. Ameen. Now, insha’allah, I am preparing to see what will happen with the criminal case and plan to attend the hearings.
There are some other developments in my life which I am not at liberty to discuss right now but know that Allah has truly blessed me. I asked for an epiphany this Ramadan and that is exactly what I received. Subhanallah!