An Obituary

An Obituary printed in the London Times – Interesting and sadly rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

– Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
– Why the early bird gets the worm;
– Life isn’t always fair;
– and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children. It declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student;
but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common
Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was
preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife,
Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,
Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If
you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
nothing

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5 responses to “An Obituary

  1. Ya ain’t never lied!

    BTW I followed your lead and I’m on a FB hiatus too. Time to get refocused. Wishing you the best!

  2. Glad I can be of inspiration Samira. I’ve actually started writing again!

  3. oh WOW!!! this is a good one.
    Tooshey…tooshey. Sad to see Commen Scense go **sniffle, sigh**

  4. As-Salaamu ‘alaikum,

    Typical nonsense from the British right-wing press.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    A few years ago a guy who was a miserable recluse had his house broken into by a couple of known local tearaways, and shot one of them in the back as he was fleeing, and got locked up. If he had shot him as he advanced, and thus as he was in danger, he would have received a much reduced sentence, but given his statements at recent public meetings, it was deduced that he shot the guy because he thought he was a scumbag who needed shooting. His conviction was changed and sentence reduced after a big campaign led by the gutter press.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
    realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
    her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    She spilled it and burned her leg quite severely, requiring hospital treatment. She did sue and win, but her compensation was reduced drastically on appeal. This is one of those stories which used to be bandied around to show that we have a runaway “compo culture” and that the world’s gone mad, but the second bit of the story is usually omitted.

  5. Salam sister. Hilariously funny 🙂 Jazak Allah for sharing. btw, the very definition of what can and what can’t be categorized as an act or word of common-sense, it changes so dynamically. So, yes, common sense is uncommon.

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