10 things I didn’t do or think about before I was Muslim

1) Strive to be G-d-conscious. Honestly, before I was Muslim I didn’t really think about God. I just lived life and never looked back. I couldn’t imagine a world where G-d was the central focus of life. Now the thought of living a life that isn’t G-d-centered sounds crazy.

2) Volunteer. Before I became Muslim I didn’t volunteer for any organization or any person. Volunteering sounded strange and unfamiliar to me. In my view, people who volunteered were either old (retired) or wealthy. Furthermore, I didn’t come from a community that valued “working for free” (which is how most people in my community viewed volunteering). The only people I knew who volunteered were church-goers. They were exceptional in my mind. I figured they volunteered for church activities or to save souls.

3) Study religious texts. Can you believe I’ve read more of the Bible as a Muslim than I did as a [nominal] Christian? Yes, I attended Sunday school where we studied the Bible and when I went to church I’d open the Bible during the sermon but that was it. I could not imagine reading a religious text on a daily basis (which is what I try to do with the Quran).

4) Concern Myself with Doing What’s Right. I know this sounds crazy. For people who have been religious all of their life it can often be difficult to understand how someone would not view a behavior as wrong when it so obvious. The interesting thing about being self-centered rather than G-d-centered is that “right” is subjective. It can depend on who you are and what your family, community or personal values are. If none of those values are in line with what G-d says is right then “right” can be whatever you want it to be.

5) Public Speaking. Before I began giving the numerous “Islam 101”, Domestic Violence in the Muslim Community” and “Women in Islam” lectures, I never thought I was cut out for public speaking. I wasn’t deathly afraid of it like many people but it was definitely something unpleasant to me. Now I really don’t mind it.

6) Considering Others. I wouldn’t say I had no regard for another person’s feelings whatsoever but when wrong is subjective you can imagine how much consideration for others can vary. As a Muslim, I know that I am accountable to Allah for how I treat other people and when I fall short I need to seek Allah’s forgiveness and the forgiveness of the person. Never occurred to me before…

7) The Importance of Community. Suddenly finding myself a part of a religious minority made me acutely aware of the importance of community. Before, I was an individual loosely tied to a community and I felt free because of it. Nowadays community is vital to my existence as a Muslim.

8 ) The Importance of Marriage and Healthy Relationships. I can’t say I never thought about marriage. After all, most women do. But as I got older I really didn’t think marriage was for me. My thoughts were on traveling the world and building a career. Naturally, I wanted to have a healthy relationship. But as a Muslim, my criteria for what is necessary to build a healthy relationship has been clarified.

9) Modesty. Thanks to my grandmother I endured many lessons about “proper behavior for a young lady.” However, I wouldn’t say that I was concerned about modesty in dress. Once again, it was subject to my own definition rather than G-d’s. Of course my definition changed depending on the circumstance, situation, and place I was at in my life.

10) Being an Example. Again, living as an individual with loose ties to a community I was never concerned with setting an example for anyone else. (Well, maybe my sibilings). I certainly didn’t think about the example I was setting on a daily basis. Yet, as a hijab-wearing Muslimah, I don’t really have a choice. Though it agggravates me to no end, most people take me as a living, breathing, walking example of Islam and of Muslims. They think everything I do has a religious basis. As I mentioned before, I don’t put on airs. I am quick to let people know that I am human being striving to practice this deen. I am a work in progress. However, there’s no denying the example I have to set. It’s the hijabi paradox…

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2 responses to “10 things I didn’t do or think about before I was Muslim

  1. Salaam alaikum,

    Jazak Allah kheir for the deeply honest and thought provoking post. My spiritual advisor has pointed out that many of us don’t take advantage of the benefits of Islam, mainly that it is a healing. I know that I’m a better person after embracing this religion. Now that I’m truly committed to this deen, I’m finding finding that centeredness that comes from Islam’s healing and mercy.

  2. Assalaamualaikum JAM-

    I really like this post, Masha’Allah. I can relate to so much of what you are saying even though I am not a convert. Yet, I continue to strive to internalize those aspects of the deen that force me to change who I was the years or even the day before.

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