Category Archives: Miscellaneous

The funny thing about having a blog…

Hey everyone,

I know it’s been a long time since you have heard from me and I’m sure many of you have given up on me. I’ve received some emails asking when I’ll be updating my blog again, some cursing me for my views and some in praise of them, others gently admonishing me and everything in between. The funny thing about having a blog (especially for years now) is that you can read what you once believed or felt strongly about. You can see where you’ve changed and where you’ve remained the same. I suppose that’s part of the human experience if you’re growing and developing.

So, what have I been up to? Well, I’m 9 months pregnant, due any day now and still working. Needless to say, I’m tired and ready to meet this little baby, insha’allah. Maybe when I’m home on maternity leave I will feel inclined to write me. Allah knows best…

ALS and mom update

Hello everyone,

I was reading over some of my old posts and realized that I kind of left interested parties hanging when it came to my mom and her health conditions. When I last blogged my mom was in denial about having ALS- that has changed. She has fully accepted her condition now and says that she has no choice but to because of the rapid changes taking place in her body. She cannot run or even walk very fast, she’s winded when she tries to walk a block and the pain is getting worse in her throat. She recently went to an ALS clinic and they advised her to get a walker. Of course she doesn’t want to do that but she may have no choice. She is also planning to resign from both of her jobs. She just doesn’t think her body can take the physical strain of it anymore. I fully support her in this and my husband and I have offered for her to move in with us if that is what she needs. (Though she is very proud and seems to prefer going to an assisted living facility).

This past weekend we had a family meeting where she talked about granting me power of attorney to make decisions for her since she is pretty confident that her voice is going to leave her soon. This whole thing is sad and heartbreaking but insha’allah I still feel like I can handle it. After all, what choice do I really have? My mother and I haven’t had the best relationship and time hasn’t improved it much. However, I do hope that we can spend her last months or years mending this broken relationship as much as possible. Allah knows best…

Ramadan Mubarak!

Once again Ramadan is upon us again. Though I won’t start fasting until tomorrow, insha’allah, I am both excited and a little anxious (as I always am when Ramadan rolls around.) Since I’m the type of person who loves organization, planning, and peace of mind I thought I’d share a few items from my Ramadan preparation/checklist.

(1) Clean house. (Not that my home is filthy). I like to tidy up for two reasons: I get so busy during Ramadan that I hardly have time to keep things in their proper place. Since I usually do dhikr, read Quran and pray Taraweeh at home during the weekdays, I like my space to be clean and smelling good. Clear head, clean home…nuff ibadah!

(2) Grocery shopping. I NEED to eat a healthy breakfast or I can’t make it past 10:00 without a migraine. This year, since mahgrib is comes in late, I think we’ll be having iftar at home. (Maybe some guests). I like to have tasty meals that are nutritious. I also like to reward myself for a day’s fast. If there is any time to eat right Ramadan is it. Otherwise, I pay for it with my body.

(3) Review my goals and create a list or some other way to monitor my progress. If I don’t then time tends to slip away from me. I look up and Ramadan is almost over.

(4) Scope out the best Taraweeh, fund-raising and iftar spots. Yes, I can admit I do that. Again, the time flies by so quickly I want to maximize it. By strategically mapping out my Ramadan activities I feel like I’m able to do so.

Do you have a Ramadan checklist?

Protected: Imagine… part 1

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Protected: Imagine… part 2

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Protected: Imagine… (part 3)

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Okay maybe I’m not finished blogging…

I have been reading you guys’ comments and you have me thinking about resuscitating my blog. Here’s the thing: when I first started blogging (not on this blog but on diaryland) I wrote a lot about my personal life. Then somehow I found myself increasingly writing about issues with personal stuff thrown in here and there. Of course, I still have issues that I’d like to write about but I also have a lot of personal things going on my life. More than anything, I want to write about those issues. For some reason as I was strolling through the skyways, I started thinking, why not? Much of what I am dealing with are the very kind of issues that someone needs to give a voice to. Writing as always been therapeutic for me. I think I’ll give it a try, insha’allah.

What do you guys think? Is anybody still reading? (I need to hear from lurkers too).

The end of blogging?

I think my blog is dead…I don’t know what can save it.

Hater Personality Disorder or HPD*

What is a personality disorder?

According to the Mayo Clinic, “a personality disorder is a general term for a type of mental illness in which your ways of thinking, perceiving situations and relating to others are dysfunctional. There are many specific types of personality disorders.

In general, having a personality disorder means you have a rigid and potentially self-destructive or self-denigrating pattern of thinking and behaving no matter what the situation. This leads to distress in your life or impairment of your ability to go about routine functions at work, school or social situations. In some cases, you may not realize that you have a personality disorder because your way of thinking and behaving seems natural to you, and you may blame others for your circumstances.”

Diagnosis:

Though it affects millions of Americans, HPD has gone unrecognized by the DSM or Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It is the hope of many psychiatrists, psychologists, religious leaders and lay people that HPD will eventually receive the recognition it deserves so that those afflicted with the disorder can receive adequate treatment.

Symptoms include:

• Extreme anxiety, distress, paranoia and/or anger upon hearing about or observing the accomplishments (big or small) of another person. This is usually accompanied by sweaty palms, dilated pupils, rapid or incomprehensible speech, and a change in voice volume and octave. HPD often triggers depression and panic attacks.

•Bouts of jealousy combined with rage which often renders the individual immobile and incompetent. For example, HPD sufferers tend to spend an unhealthy amount of time gossiping, slandering and attempting to undermine the success of another. This prevents the person from working towards their own success or solving problems in their own lives.

•Severe narcissism and illusions of grandeur. “It’s all about me!” HPD sufferers tend to see the world in relation to themselves. Almost everything is reflected back onto the self. In their mind, the success or accomplishments of another say something- usually negative- about their personal identity, social mobility or sense of self-worth. They also inflate or exaggerate their accomplishments when comparing them to another person whom they secretly believe has unearned success.

Treatment:

There is no drug on the market for HPD sufferers. Scientists at GlaxoSmithKline are working to develop a prescription medication for HPD. It has also been rumored that Schering-Plough HealthCare Products- the makers of Afrin- have been working on an over the counter nasal spray which reduces the effects of HPD for 12 hours.

Talk therapy has proven to significantly reduce the effects of HPD. Patients must visit a licensed therapist at least twice a week. They must actively work on a treatment plan along with the therapist. However, those who suffer from severe HPD require much more contact and management.

*A list of HPD complications and risk factors are available upon request.

Thank you everyone for your comments

We had a family meeting and I was severely disappointed because I felt like only two of us were being serious. My mom is in denial about her condition so she’s not thinking about what plans she needs to make. Now she is saying it is only a prognosis and maybe it will turn out to be nothing too serious. *sigh* ALL of the research I did points to her condition getting progressively worse. The neurologist told her it is degenerative- which means it gets worse with time. I urged my mother not to wait 6 to 8 months (when they told her to return to the Mayo Clinic so they can examine her muscle function and degenerative nerve progression) because she does not know what shape her body will be in. I advised her to travel or do other things she has always wanted to do before she finds herself physically unable to. She is thinking about going back to London to visit family. I hope she does it.

Want to hear the strange part? Allah has given me the strength to deal with this. I trust in Allah and I really and truly believe he will not give me more than I can bear. This is a mercy from none other than Allah.