My Dedication to Hijabis

‘Cause it’s rough out here and sometimes you need a little inspiration. BTW, that’s me at 1:30 for the curious ones.

Weird dreams…again!

 The weird dreams keep on coming. Last night I dreamt I was a hair stylist at a Black salon. Some of my co-workers who were Christian would, at times, start singing Gospel music because they believed I was like the anti-Christ or something and I was confronting them about their behavior. Anyway, I had the supereme talent of taking any client and determining the right hair cut or style for their face.  Apparently, I surprised people because they didn’t think a hijabed up Muslim chick could “do some hair.” 

Here’s the joke: I can’t even do my own hair. I pay Lilian good money to take care of mine. So why am I having this dream?

I could never be Muslim because…

“I can’t give up eating pork”

“I could never wear ‘that thing’ on my head”

“I couldn’t imagine fasting for the month of Ramadan”

“I like to go clubbing”

“Carnival is my life”

“I don’t think I could pray 5 times a day”

“I love women too much”

“I have to drink a glass of wine every now and then”

etc. etc. How many times has someone uttered the aforementioned phrases to me? And how many times have I thought to yourself, Is this person really serious? Believe me, I’ve heard a thousand and one reasons why family members and friends ”could never be Muslim.” None of them have been about the actual belief system in Islam- for instance Tawhid (the oneness of God) or disbelieving that the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) is the last and final messenger sent to human beings. Instead, people, without my insistence or urgency, list off a bunch of real (or imagined) Islamic practices that do not gel well with their current lifestyle.

The way I see it, when you combine faith and dedication, you can give up or do anything (even the things you previously said you could not do or give up.) I cannot imagine standing before Allah on judgment day and saying, “Well, I couldn’t at least make the effort to submit to you because I enjoy carnival too much.” I realize that trying to be a religious person, a person who lives a God-centered life, means that I will have to give up some of the things I used to love. I realize that I will have to make small changes in my life or even drastic ones. After all, how is there growth or improvement if my lifestyle and my behavior stays exactly the same as it did before I committed myself to God?  One of the things I’ve had to accept is that I won’t be able to partake in everything that goes on in the world. And thank God for that! 

However, that is not to say that a person will not have struggles. I have been Muslim, alhamdulillah, for 16 years and I still have things I struggle with. I think that is the nature of a faith. In some matters we will struggle and then succeed. In others matters we will find ourselves succeeding one moment and then right back where we started. As frustrating as it is, I believe that Allah recognizes the effort and judges us by the intention to improve and not just by the success itself.

The other issue I have is when non-religious people say to me, “well, you’re practicing your religion, you’re serving God but you still have problems like me.” Before my faith had matured to where it is now, I, too, believed that a person who committed themselves to God 100% would suddenly be carefree. They wouldn’t struggle in life (financially or otherwise). They would always be happy and their devotion to God would be rewarded by a lifestyle of ease. Now I know better. Now I know that there are tests and trials that we go through which (hopefully) teach us lessons, help us to grow and bring us closer to Allah. I think the difference between me before and me now is that I know I am never alone. I know that I can always turn to Allah no matter the circumstance. I know that Allah does not give me more than I can handle. Furthermore, my faith prevents me from feeling hopelessness and despair. There are boundaries which I do not cross. However, there are people (I cannot count myself as one) who live in a constant or frequent state of contentment. Yes, there may be problems or struggles in their lives but they are not devastated by them. They just take them in stride.  Faith can do that for you. (May Allah help me to reach that level. Ameen).

Though hijab was not as much of a struggle for me as it is for some women, I’m going to be honest with you and say that I NEVER thought I could give up clubbing. As I mentioned way back, in some respects clubbing was my deen, my way of life. Thursday through Sunday found me in the dancehall, at Soca night, going to stage shows and to see live Reggae bands. Not only was it a part of my lifestyle but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that “clubbing” is a part of Caribbean culture. It’s what many people do for enjoyment. And trust me, I loved nothing more than putting on the latest clothing and going with my girls to “wine it” or “wuk it up.” So it was very surprising to others and even to myself  that I could give all of that up for the sake of Allah. But alhmadulillahI did!  Do I miss it sometimes? Yes!!! Have I completely, 100%, cut myself off from all things related to Reggae, Soca and Dancehall? NO. The progress is evident however…

As Muslims, interacting with non-Muslims, I think we sometimes share in the blame for people feeling like they couldn’t be Muslim because of certain practices or rituals. How so you ask? Let me give you an example. My sister’s boyfriend attended a class at a local masjid in order to learn about Islam. (This was prior to meeting me, btw). The brother who was teaching the class told him that he had to pray in Arabic because that was the only way that Allah could hear him. (Sigh). Naturally, my sister’s boyfriend was turned off because the idea that God, the master of the universe, the all-knowing, could only hear a specific language sounded preposterous. Secondly, could you imagine being told you had to learn Arabic (which to many people who are not familiar with it- including myself at one point- looks like a bunch of manic scribblings) off the bat? I can clearly remember feeling intimidated by the Arabic language as a new Muslim. (And I still don’t know any Arabic apart from what I say in the fard salaat and a few Islamic phrases and terms).

The point here (and I hope you’re getting it) is that it’s important for Muslims to start with people where they are. Don’t overwhelm them with talk of hijab, celibacy, learning Arabic, fasting from sunrise to sunset  etc.  Can we discuss the basics, the foundation of the Islamic belief system? There is a reason why the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) spent the early part of his prophecy laying the foundations of tawhid instead of going around and telling the people of that time ”put this hijab on”, “hey you, put down that liquor”,  and “stop chasing women.” We can do better…

In the end, I suppose the question people must pose to themselves is this: Which do I love more, God or my own desires? And if the answer is God then it’s time to embark on a journey of exploration and self-reflection. God willing, the questioning will lead you to the appropriate place.

Coming up for Air

I must take the time to thank the two readers who suggested I check out this book. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Mashallah, I am really enjoying it. (I’m forcing myself to read it slowly and to reflect on the message Amartya Sen is conveying to his readers). It’s exactly what I need to hear right now.

More random thoughts

-So, if you haven’t heard already, Black women and Asian men are the least likely to get married. I could cite the reasons why but I am sure you can come up with your own. Anyhow, my mom, my aunt, my sister and I were discussing this and how unlikely it is that the two groups would get together. (We were thinking about the cultural differences, the fact that Black women, generally speaking of course, don’t marry outside etc.) My sister, the youngest of the group, was hopeful. Fast forward. Last Friday my sister and I were in the mall and she pulled me into Forever 21. (Sidebar: I must be getting old because I hated every single minute of being in that store. Between the thumping music, flashing lights and the sensory overload from trying to look at the clothing which was crammed into every nook and cranny of the store, I was starting to get a headache. I really felt like I was being tortured.) Guess what I saw? A Black woman with an Asian man and their two kids! Of course I had to find my sister and show her. We really wanted to go up to her and say, “That’s right, do your thing girl!” But we knew we’d look crazy…lol (P.S. In Jamaica it is not uncommon for Chinese-descent Jamaicans to intermarry with Black Jamaicans. I have a couple of friends who are half Chinese).

-Speaking of Black men. I was having a mini-debate with my mom about Blair Underwood. I was telling her that he “looks very good for his age.” My mom was trying to say that he’s not that old. She swore up and down he’s younger than Denzel Washington. I disagreed. I remember Blair Underwood being on “L.A. Law” when I was kid and he was an adult! My mom finally relented when she recalled other shows and movies he’s been in along with the corresponding year. We could’ve just looked his age up on the internet…

Case in point:

- Has anyone else heard of Cynthia McKinney and Rosa Clemente? They’re running for president and vice president on the Green Party ticket. By now you know I’m not too hot for politics but I actually liked some of the things Cynthia McKinney had to say (especially about Barack Obama.) I’m tired of people telling me I’m “wasting my vote” by voting for a Green Party candidate. I’ve also had people tell me that “people like me” are responsible for the likes of George Bush winning. They say Green Party candidates are taking votes away from the Democratic candidate. Like I said, I’m not too hot for politics but I have eyes and I can see that the Democrats take the Black vote for granted…

- I have a summer cold. BLAH!

-It’s official: I have the weirdest dreams on the planet. I dream that I’m all kinds of people, speaking all kinds of languages. Last night I dreamt that I was Chinese. In my dream I was speaking Chinese…and I worked in a Chinese restaurant. WTH? The only logical explanation I can come up with is that I was reading this month’s copy of Saudi Aramco World magazine which features Chinese Muslims.

-Speaking of which, the magazine has some nice pictures of the “women’s masjid” in Lanzhou. I started daydreaming about a women-only masjid. I was thinking about how clean it would be, how nice it would be to sit in the front of the room for once or to just be comfortable there knowing it was all women. Then I was dreaming about all of the classes we could have, programs and even what iftar would be like. I was thinking about the number of sisters who would flourish in that type of environment. However, my little reverie was cut short by reality. Would any Muslim (including Muslim women) in America support a women-only masjid? As awful as some of the brothers treat us in the masjid I am sure they will be hooping and hollering about “bidah” if women went off and started our own thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if the women-only masjid received threats and condemnation from local imams. But hey, look at this way, we wouldn’t be a “fitnah” for the men. You guys could luxuriate in your filthy bathrooms, funky carpets, front door entrances and never have to worry about a lock of hair or an ankle tempting you! (For the record, I don’t believe that a women-only masjid would contribute to the building of ummah).

-How irritated am I that the MANA Conference is taking place, insha’allah, during Thanksgiving weekend? Grrr! That’s the busiest travel time of the year!!! My friend looked for airplane tickets on-line and they were a whopping $600. I’m just wondering how likely it will be to find a hotel that won’t cost an arm and a leg. Last year we stayed at a hotel way out by the airport while the conference took place in downtown Philadelphia. It was very inconvenient to say the least. I’m not ashamed to admit that we took a wrong turn and almost ended up going to Atlantic City…ANYWAY, how many of you are planning to go, insha’allah?

So you think you can dance? (Africa)

These boys mash up the place!

Sing out sisters

Vic Motune
Published 10 July 2008

Muslim rap is developing a large following in the US and UK, yet female artists trying to break into the scene are often intimidated, or even threatened

n the male-dominated world of hip-hop, female rappers have always had it tough. But, as Neelo fer Mir will testify, it’s even tougher if you are a devout Muslim woman. Mir, a 27-year-old south Londoner, is a huge fan of artists such as Jill Scott and Alicia Keys, and has long held dreams of emulating their success as a rapper and spoken-word poet. As she established a following on the open-mike circuit, won an award for her work and attracted offers to collaborate with the likes of the Mercury Prize-winning DJ Talvin Singh, it seemed that her dream was coming true.

Unfortunately, her family and other Muslim friends and acquaintances don’t share her vision. Mir has had to battle their suspicion that she is just using her love of rap and performance as a cover to behave in what they feel are un-Islamic ways: going to nightclubs or meeting men.

“Baring your soul on stage is hard,” she says, “so when you’re leaving your family home to go and perform, you want to feel support. Instead, you feel as if you’re two inches tall. There is an old-school mentality, very much alive today, that women really don’t belong in performing arts - they should remain in the domestic arena. And me being a strong-minded, very opinionated female from a Muslim family, it’s difficult for me, because I’m seen as going against the grain. The criticism I get is hurtful and it’s really difficult to be who I want to be, both as an individual and as an artist.”

Mir is not alone in wanting to break into an industry that is seen by the more conservative elements in Muslim communities as highly undesirable for young women. She is one of more than a dozen artists whose work is featured on Sisterhood, an online mixtape of previously unreleased songs by up-and-coming female Muslim rappers, MCs and poets from the UK, US and Europe. Their music deals with a range of issues that each has been affected by on some level.

For example, 18-year-old Lady Dizzla, a rapper and dancer of Yemeni and Indian descent who is based in London, contributes a track called “I Won’t Cry”, about the physical and emotional scars of rape. “Open Soul Closed”, by Angel MC Shay, a Sheffield-based rapper and writer who has been creating lyrics since the age of 12, was written at the time when the British government was debating the merits of going to war in Iraq. Lyrical Lailah, from Bradford, addresses the silence surrounding violence against women.

Judging by the success of the recent Dangerous Ideas tour of leading MCs and rappers, there is a big audience for Islamic hip-hop in the UK. Artists from all over the world played to sold-out venues during the tour, the aim of which was to showcase contemporary Islamic culture and encourage young British Muslims to express themselves through the arts. Both here and in the United States, Muslim rap artists are gaining popularity among young Muslims, who want a form of entertainment that reflects both their mainstream musical tastes and their religious beliefs. The internet has fuelled the market for Islamic hip-hop, building an international fan base for Muslim acts such as Native Deen, from the US, and the UK’s Mecca2Medina.

Within this growing scene, however, female rappers are facing a tough time. “In many Muslim communities, there is virtually no support for young women who want to express themselves as creative artists,” says Deeyah, the singer who founded the Sisterhood project from the hundreds of songs submitted to her through her MySpace page. “It’s not one of the professions expected of a woman.

“Many are actively discouraged from expressing their thoughts and dreams through music. A big part of the problem is the cultural expec tations placed upon women. There is the association of music with sexuality and a westernised form of expression. The main aim I had in putting together the Sisterhood project was to let young Muslim girls know they are not alone in their struggles to get their music out there.”

Deeyah’s own experiences show just how bad it can get for a Muslim woman who insists on freedom of artistic expression. Born in Norway, she was dubbed “the Muslim Madonna” after the release of her first album, a mix of classical Pakistani music, jazz and folk. The record was a huge commercial success, and Deeyah went on to work with internationally renowned artists such as Jan Garbarek and Don Cherry.

However, her act alienated her from Norway’s Muslim community. Following the release of her self-titled second album, the opposition grew louder. Norwegian Muslims claimed she was a bad role model after promotional videos for the album showed her with her back exposed and dressed in what was deemed to be sexually alluring western attire. Deeyah received verbal threats against herself and her family. And during one concert in 1995 she was attacked onstage.

The following year she came to London, hoping that things would be different, but the problems were soon to return. When the video for her single “Plan of My Own” was aired on an Asian music channel, featuring the singer dancing seductively with a man, the death threats and harassment started again. She is now based in the US and needs the constant protection of bodyguards. “People have said to me, ‘If you wore more modest attire, toned your act down a little, you’d be OK.’ Well, you know something? I’ve tried wearing traditional costumes onstage and I’m still the whore. I’m still the person who’s wrong.”

Muneera Rashida, of the leading London rap act Poetic Pilgrimage, agrees that wearing more conventional attire such as the hijab when performing often does little to appease critics. “I personally want to wear the hijab,” she says, “but that’s got nothing to do with what you think of me onstage or how you think I should look. That’s between me and my Lord and it should be the same with Deeyah. But when we perform as Poetic Pilgrimage we face people who say: ‘You’re a Muslim, you’re wearing the hijab and you’re mixing your religion with this type of music. How dare you?’ Whichever direction we turn in, there will be someone with something to say.

“Those opinions are not necessarily the majority,” she stresses; “they’re just the more vocal opinions, often expressed by the people who own the mosques and the publishing companies. They feel this gives them the right to shout louder than anybody else.”

Dr Daud Abdullah of the Muslim Council of Great Britain argues that the traditionalists have a point. “If you look at the case of Janet Jackson, who caused such a furore a few years ago when she exposed her nipple during her performance at that year’s Superbowl, it shows that even among non-Muslims, there are clearly understood ideas of decency,” he says. “Many Muslim women do perform to audiences of other women at weddings, for example, because the sexes are strictly segregated. Those performers enjoy a good career. It’s when women perform for wider, mixed audiences that differences of opinion emerge.

“These objections are based on the Islamic view that women should not draw unnecessary attention to themselves, because of the impact this will have on a male audience. The moral framework of Islam has already been laid down and women should not push beyond its boundaries for the sake of commercial gain.”

Ishmael Yasin, a rapper with Mecca2Medina, believes that opposition to artists such as Neelo fer Mir and Deeyah is slowly losing ground. “Many of the Islamic arts programmes which have sprung up in the past few years need government funding, which clearly stipulates that you can’t discriminate on the grounds of race or gender. So, organisations putting on events now include women performers where they would never have thought of doing so before. That has opened up the doors for acts like Pearls of Islam and Poetic Pilgrimage.

“People like myself and others I work with understand that you need to encourage this. In Asian and Arabian cultures, from which many Muslims in this country originate, women are not really prominent in the life of society. Often a minority of men from that cultural background share a chauvinistic mentality and try to use Islam to mask it.”

“Sisterhood” is available at www.myspace.com/deeyahpresents

source

Movie, “Arranged” (My half way review)

So, I finally checked this film out from the library after bypassing it or forgetting about it for months. Some of you have probably seen it. It’s about an unlikely friendship between Rahel (an Orthodox Jew) and Nasira (a Syrian-descent Muslim). They both are teachers at a public school in Brooklyn, both are going through the arranged marriage process and feeling the culture and religious pressures from their families and communities. All in all it was a good film. You have to take the characters exactly as they are and consider their particular circumstances. You have to resist the urge to say, “Hey, it’s not like that for me and I’m Muslim [or Jewish]!” Or maybe it’s just me who has to fight that urge, lol. Anyhow, I enjoyed watching the film. I encourage you to check it out.

Since I’m a nerd and am so used to taking notes during films (a side effect of grad school) I thought I’d share some of the thoughts I jotted down while watching it:

-I’m thinking about women and the burden cultures and communities place on us. Far too often a family’s honor and reputation rests on a daughter’s chastity. (A older daughter can affect the youngest daughter’s reputation). Men do not have such burdens. In many respects it’s okay for them to “sow their wild oats.” Yes, in the end they may be expected to marry a “good Muslim girl” or a “good Jewish girl” but the onus is not on them in the same way. UNFAIR!

-Choosing your own path, finding your own way. This a constant theme throughout the film. Both characters must find their own path in their respective religions and in their quest to get married.

-As human beings we carry so many prejudices, so many biases inside of us. In this film the hostility between Jews and Arabs is clear. Even though it is not directly addressed, you can feel the historical weight of the hostility. As a Black Muslim, where do I fit into the equation? I’ve experienced prejudice from both Jews and Arabs…in many respects Black people are both group’s “untouchables.”

-Could a devout Muslim and a devout Jew be friends? Will the relationship automatically be an antagonistic one? I’m thinking about an orthodox Jewish co-worker I was developing a friendship with. Like Nasira and Rahel, our friendship was centered around our commonalities. We didn’t party, drink, date etc. like our other co-workers. I eventually went to her house to pay my respects after her father died.  I was in a predominately Jewish neighborhood in hijab. I was uncomfortable and felt like an interloper. When I was approaching my friend’s house I saw people giving me sideways glances. (Fortunately, no one was rude to me). The irony is that I’m not Arab and do not have the same history with Jews. (And I’m not suggesting that all Arabs have personal beefs against Jews, by the way). But there was no denying that the hijab “marked me” as one of them.  Like Nasira and Rahel, I felt bound by a history that did not include the way I saw things or the philosophies I live my life by.  Sadly, our friendship didn’t last because she said something offensive to me about Maryam/Mary the mother of Jesus (s.a.w.) Apparently, she didn’t know Mary is revered in Islam…

-This film has me thinking about the difficulties of trying to be a religious woman in an increasingly secular world. It’s complicated when you love your faith and you love your traditions but the world considers them outdated. We’re like an 1800’s throwback to some.

-Which brings me to the question of agency. (The social science dictionary says the term agency is: ‘linked to sociologies which focus on the individual as a subject and view social action as something purposely shaped by individuals within a context to which they have given meaning.’) Basically it is the ability of a person to decide what is best for them; to make their own choices about how they live their lives. Many people do not view Muslim women as having agency. Some say we are contributing to our own oppression and don’t know it, don’t care or don’t have a choice. I say that many of us have agency. (After all, I don’t have the familial or cultural pressure to be Muslim. If anything I have the pressure to not be Muslim). Clearly people have different ways of defining liberation. That’s why I love it when Rahel so eloquently tells her boss as much in the film. I was actually clapping!

MY FINAL THOUGHT:

-I realize how little I know about the Jewish religion.

More than a Muslim Woman

I was reading Muslimah Media Watch’s post and thinking about identity. In particular, my own identity. Let me start by saying I’m annoyed with news programs like the one referenced in the post that name shows about Muslim women “Behind the Veil” or “Beneath the Veil.” GIVE IT A REST…PLEASE! Can non-Muslims stop worrying about what’s beneath my “veil” or behind it? How many programs are there that feature non-Muslim women and name it “Behind the bra” or “Beneath the shirt”? You see where I’m going with this one, right?

Anyhow,  I personally dislike the way non-Muslims and Muslims alike reduce a Muslim woman to her hijab and to her identity as a Muslim woman.   Yes, Islam governs the way I do most of the things in my life (or try to do anyway.) But like many people, I have multiple identities:

I’m African-American (from the Midwest but have a southern slant since my mom is from the South)

I’m Jamaican (from the country, part Jamaican Indian-a ‘coolie gyal’ to some, part Black)

I’m “western” in thinking and to some extent in values

I’m a convert to Islam (and I didn’t convert because I was dating or married to a Muslim man)

I’m also:

A college graduate

A professional

A poetess

A fashionista

A B-girl

A former carnival reveler

A former dancer (not classically trained)

A bookworm

A “quasi-feminist”

An activist

A Jamerican bad gyal

And so much more. Most importantly, I’m a human being (even if I sometimes feel like I’m from another planet, lol.) Since I’m a human being it means that I will falter at times. I will waver. I will do things, think things, and say things that are not conducive to my way of life (Islam.) Both Muslims and non-Muslims  need to realize that wavering (or ‘backsliding’ as some call it) is part of the religious experience. We all have tests, struggles and temptations.  Mine aren’t necessarily the same as someone else’s. Sometimes I fail, sometimes I succeed. If I do fail or if I’m stuck momentairly, it doesn’t mean that I’ve “left the deen” or that “I’m not Muslim anymore.” 

I’m tired of being exoticized by the media. And I’m sick of people trying to force me into a box.

Meme: Seven Songs You’re Listening To Now

I saw this meme over at Safiya Outlines and decided to start my own list. Here goes my list (in no particular order):

As you can tell, I enjoy a good love song.

1. Usher- What’s a Man To Do? Usher’s all grown up! I’m not really a fan but there’s no denying the strength of his new CD. I have to admit, it’s pretty good. This song is about a man that is in love with two different women. Since I’m kinda, sorta a near feminist, you’re probably wondering why I like it. Well, it’s honest. You get the idea that he’s not playing games. He really does love both women and he’s torn. It’s kind of a sad song. (Esp. with the East Indian voice sample). Metaphorically, I can relate to having your heart be “in two different places.”

2. Sara Bareilles- Love on the Rocks. I like the lyrics first and foremost. That’s what caught my attention. However, the vocals and music are excellent. As the title suggests, this is a song about a relationship that is on the rocks but neither one of them seems to want to leave it so they keep going round and round. (Been there!)

3. Etana- Warrior Love. This has to be one of THEE BEST reggae CDs out now. I like Etana because she’s positive. When other women in reggae are trying to capitalize off of their appearance, body and sexual lyrics, this rasta woman is standing strong without being “preachy.” The song is about a love that is so strong that no amount of interference from people can undo it.

4. Estelle feat John Legend- You Are. I like Estelle and I like John Legend (oh la la) so of course I’m digging this song. I describe it as mellow, relaxing and soothing. Not the deepest, most complex lyrics (which I’m used to getting from John Legend) but it works. But it’s not some bubble gum radio tune. In a nutshell this song is about falling in love.

5. Patrice Roberts- Wukking up. MADNESS!!!! I’m bouncing in my chair right now. I like to listen to this tune when I’m working out, going for a walk or dancing around the house. But it’s dangerous to listen to when I’m outside because I have to fight the urge to “wuk up” or dance. As you can guess, this is a soca song. And of course, it’s about carnival…what else? Big up my Trini fren dem. Weh unno a seh now?

6. Jagged Edge- Whole Town’s Laughing. Even they admit “here’s another song ’bout tryin to get your girl back.” JE’s always been great at singing songs like this. I call ‘em “baby, baby pleaaaassse songs.” Once again, I like the honesty, the realness. He opens the song admitting that he’d probably have broken up with her if their positions had been reversed. How often do I get to hear a brotha admit he’s hurting, he was wrong and he just flat out messed up? Not often. I think this is gonna be one of those songs that I’ll hear years down the line (insha’allah) and be like, “Awww, turn that UP!!! That’s my jaaaaam!”

7. Dwele- Open Your Eyes. If you know Common’s song “The Light” then imagine it being crooned; mellowed out and flipped R&B style. That’s “Open your eyes.” A sweet, tender, love song. And to think, I never really liked Dwele.