Trying New Things

As much as I love structure, order and routine I have realized that it’s time for me to get “out there” and try some new things. I’m tired of the same ole same ole. I have decided to do the following, insha’allah:

• Take a Capoeria  or martial arts class. I found a Capoeria class that is $5 per class. The only thing is that it’s at 10AM on Saturdays. (Not a good time for someone who hates getting up in the morning- especially on a Saturday). But $5? Wow.
• Make a visit to one place per year that I’ve never been to before. For some reason I’ve always wanted to see Rhode Island. Yes, I know there’s probably nothing to see over there but I need to take the little excursion just so I can satisfy my curiosity.
• I want to go on the game show “Moment of Truth.” I’m not sure if I’ll actually do it or even if they would accept me but I think about it all the time. As you can tell, I have NO PROBLEM talking it plain. (Hmph)
• Not back down from a task just because I find it cumbersome. (Sometimes I have a tendency- depending on the task at hand- to give up). Insha’allah I will perservere even if it something I really don’t want to do but is beneficial for me (or some else) in the long run.
• Take a class on Sunni Path
• Find a way to get my “Halal hustle on.” With the rising food and gas prices I think it’s a good idea to cash in on some of the skills I have. After all, Allah gave them to me. As it stands, I’m thinking about what I can do…hmm…

Goodbye Burger King!

It’s not like I eat Burger King very often but if I’m on a road trip or something it’s one of the places I go to. Sadly, they fry their fish with their pork products. Here is the daleel: Burger King Site. If you scroll down past the ingredients to the section entitled “Fried Products” you’ll find the info.

Sorry to ruin it for you BK fans but I had to pass the knowledge on.

 

“I’m never getting married again”

I was thinking about Charles’ recent post about our deaf, dumb and blind and reading the comments. I realize I am seeing an increase in BAM women who are  taking a break from Islam, the masjid or the Muslim community. I am also meeting more and more BAM women who say “I’m never getting married again.” The thing that really got my attention is that not all of them are saying it because they’re momentairly scorned or hurt. I think some of them really mean it.They’re tired of the “halal players”,  tired of brothers using Quran and Hadith to run game, simply tired of bearing the brunt of sexism, male chauvinism and sick of being mistreated by brothers.

Personally, I don’t think they should give up. As one of my close friends is fond of saying, “One monkey don’t stop no show!” While I understand where some sisters are coming from, I am not going to let one person or even a couple of people deprive me of my right to love again. If you truly believe in Allah and believe that Allah can do anything then I don’t see why some sisters can’t believe that Allah will provide. No matter how dismal it looks. I think we have to stop expecting brothers to be like Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) when we are not like Aisha (r.a.) So no one misunderstands me allow me a moment to clarify my thoughts:

Do I think sisters should lower their standards? NO.

Do I think sisters should accept abuse (emotional, physical, verbal or mental)? HELL NO!

Do I think sisters should put up with brothers’ disrepsect under the guise of being patient, supportive and pious? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

But I do think we need to be realistic and I do think a woman needs to think about what she can deal with and what she cannot- your basic tolerance level. What are you willing to accept and what aren’t you? And I think it’s going to be different for everyone. Some of the things that are deal breakers for me may not be deal breakers for the next person. (One sister told me she waited 10 YEARS for her husband to get back on his deen and stop drinking and womanizing. I personally don’t have that kind of patience).

Subhanallah, this marriage thing is tough. Believe me, I KNOW. But you know what? I’m not giving up on it and I hope my sisters don’t either. As Mary J. sang:

 “It aint all roses/flowers and posin’/said it aint all candy/this love stuff is demanding/sometimes I need a hug…” 

*Nodding head vigorously* 

Finding the Middle Path…

What happens when a Muslim parent is too strict? Sometimes this:

“This religion is easy. Do not make it a rigor, or you shall be overcome. Be steadfast, seek the closeness of Allah, grow in virtue, and implore His appeasement day and night.”
-The Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), as reported by Abu Hurairah

Update on My Assignment

A couple of weeks ago I stated that I had an assignment to complete; an Islamic assignment. I wanted to report how I was doing on it so far. Here were the things I was supposed to be working on and where I stand as far as progress is concerned:

1. Learn a new Surah:  Done. Now it’s time to learn another one. It’s really true that the Quran is easy to learn. I’m finding out that you just need to make the time and put in the effort. Allahu Akbar!
2. Increase Nafl Salaah: Doing it. Pretty soon I will be increasing the rakahs from 2 to 4, insha’allah.
3. Keep plugging away at the Seerah I’m reading: I’ve faltered somewhat. I was doing good for a week and now I can’t remember when’s the last time I picked it up.
4. Keep thinking, reviewing, reflecting, and making du’a: Still doing it!
5. Pay back the last day of Ramadan that I owe: *sigh* I haven’t done it yet. Why is it so hard?

I’m sure I will eventually have a new list but first I’ve got to check everything off of this one. And of course, the journey won’t end until the day someone’s reading my Janazah. But mashallah, doing these things is really helping me spiritually. I’m making progress and getting back on track. Alhamudlillah.  The best thing is to remain consistent…

Random (sometimes disjointed) Thoughts

-Why is the Muhammad Asad translation of Quran so incredibly expensive?

-I’m thinking of retiring my fashion blog. My heart is not in it much these days and I can’t seem to keep up with it. Or maybe I should merge it with this blog. I don’t know…

 -Man short, man short! Would you share your man? Listen to these [Black] Canadian and Caribbean Canadian women talk.  I found the mix of responses interesting to say the least. Wonder how some of these ideas play into the Muslim community and our understanding, perceptions, and/or acceptance of polygyny…

-The gas prices…WTH? I have a Toyota Matrix and it usually costs me anywhere from $25-$30 to fill up. Now I’m coming in around $42. This is insanity!

-One of my guilty pleasures is watching America’s Next Top Model. (Yeah, I know…) Anyhow, I was surprised that Whitney became the first plus size model to  win the show. Now, in “real life” Whitney is not “plus sized” but has curves (i.e. hips, booty and thighs). She might be what Black folks call “thick.” Says Whitney, “People always say you have to be stick-skinny, emaciated and unhealthy and I’ve kind of stood up for [being full-figured] my whole life…” Go Girl. Let’s hear it for the thick girls! And of course…one of my favorite thick girl representatives (Ms. Jennifer Hudson):

-Speaking of thick girls…I have a preview copy of Lalah Hathaway’s new CD. LOVE IT!This is for real grown folks music. Very mellow and no lyrics like “shawty you lookin’ hot” or “You’re so fine you blow my mind.”

-I’d really like to see more Islamic fiction. Yes, I’ve been working on my “book” for quite some time now but I can’t seem to really focus as much as I’d like to. I appreciate Umm Zakiyyah’s Salafi-oriented fiction, Mojha Kahf’s more liberal The Girl in the Tangerine Scarfand Leila Aboulela’s Minaret (British-Sudanese inspired fiction). I just need more. More, more, more!

-Why are some Muslim sisters warring on myspace? I guess it’s not enough for us to tear each other to bits in the masjid or on the blogosphere. We have to do it through our bulletins and personal pages on myspace. It’s sad. And you know what, I don’t expect everyone to get along but seriously…

-I need to go home. (Home=Jamaica). I’m due for a visit. I need it desperately. *sigh*

-It’s amazing how much I’m like my mom. The older I get the more I hear her in the things I say. The other day I was talking to her on the phone and she said, “you sound like me.” One time I was speaking to my mom’s best friend about something (I don’t remember what) and she was like, “You sound just like your mama. You really are your mother’s daughter.”

-If you were married to me would you be upset by this pic? (My friend sent it to me on my birthday because she knows I like dancehall artist Baby Cham).

 

Tagged again…

10 things I hope for in my life…

• To perform Hajj
• I can find a city I’m happy with so I stay there once and for all
• That I can stick to my workout regimen
• To continually increase in my level of Islamic knowledge and deen
• For my mom and sister to take shahadah
• That I will die in the state of iman
• To complete the book I’ve been starting and stopping for the past 5 years
• To learn more Quran
• That I can pass the tests Allah gives me and learn from them
• Complete my thesis

 

I’ve been tagged

 I’m tagging Online Rihla, Charles, and anyone else who reads this blog…

1. Last movie you saw in a theater? Shutter. (It wasn’t as scary as it looked in the previews).

2. What book are you reading? Valerie Wilson Wesley’s Of Blood and Sorrow

3. Favorite board game? Scrabble. I love word games!

4. Favorite magazine? Azizah Magazine. I wish it came out once a month instead of quarterly.

5. Favorite smells? I like the smell of new shoes. It’s weird…I know!

6. Favorite sounds? My favorite sound is the adhan. I also like the radio voice of NPR’s Farai Chideya. She has the perfect radio voice.

7. Worst feeling in the world ? When you realize you’ve been betrayed by someone. Oh, that sinking feeling inside…like something fell off a shelf inside of me.

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? Alhamdulillah.

9. Favorite fast food place? I don’t really like fast food. I prefer to go to a small restaurant for carryout.

10. Future child’s name? For a girl: Hajar, For a boy: Bilal

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?  Move back to South Florida. I miss it so much. And I’d finally make hajj!

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Uh…NO!

13. Storms – cool or scary? Cool if I’m in the house, scary if I’m driving.

14. Favorite drink/Juice? Snapple’s Mango White Tea. Very refreshing!

15. Finish this statement “If I had the spare time I would….”?  Create a file system for all of my paperwork.

16. Do you eat the stems on broccoli? But what a question! Yes…

17. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice? I’d dye it this color (In fact, I might just do it soon, insha’allah) :

18. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in? Miami, North Miami Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Hollywood, Chicago, LA, Torrence, Minneapolis, Cincinnati, and Springfield. 

19. Favorite sports to watch? I hate sports!

20. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you? I love your blog missmuslimah

21. What’s under your bed? Nothing. It’s too low to have anything under it.

22. Would you like to be born as yourself again? Definitely!

23. Morning person, or night owl? Night Owl.

24. Over easy, or sunny side up? Neither. I like my eggs fried or scrambled hard.

25. Favorite place to relax? JAMAICA. I’m overdue…

26. Favorite pie? Pecan.

27. Favorite ice cream flavor? Ben and Jerry’s Pistachio Pistachio.

28. Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first? Online Rihla

Is Allah Enough for You? (Some deep thoughts I’ve been having)

I pose this question to you and to myself. You see, I started thinking about it because of the kutbah on Friday. The khatib reminded us that Allah is not accountable to us but rather we are accountable to Allah. We demand an explanation for things but Allah does not owe us an explanation about the things that he does or why he does them.  The khatib also talked about how we, as Muslims, as human beings, say we love Allah and that we worship Allah alone but we do so with limitations. What does he mean? It means that we love and obey Allah within the boundaries of our own emotional and personal comfort zones. You know, as long as we are getting we what we want. Or enough to assuage our feelings of guilt. But when push comes to shove how many of can say that we REALLY love Allah and that we REALLY put our trust in him? Or do we utter the words but as soon as something goes wrong we start blaming Allah and asking why he is doing to us what he is doing to us? How many of us say “mashallah” and keep on loving Allah and worshipping him nonetheless because we know whatever tests he sends our way are all to our benefit? Even if it hurts…even if we don’t understand it.

What if Allah took away everything you had? (May Allah not test any of us with such a burden. Ameen). What if Allah took away some of the things you have? What if Allah handed you a very difficult test that you didn’t understand? How do you react? Do you become angry? Do you take pity on yourself? Do you ask, “Why me Allah?” Do you work tirelessly (against your own soul and better judgement) to try and fix things even it means disobeying Allah? Do you tell yourself your disobedience is okay because of your extenuating circumstances? Or do you turn to Allah and ask for guidance? Do you ask Allah to grant you patience? Do you ask Allah to help you learn the lesson you need to learn or pass the test you need to pass even if you don’t understand the test and it appears to have no rhyme or reason? I guess the question I am asking you (and myself) is do you REALLY trust Allah? How strong is your iman? And how willing are you to accept Allah’s Qadr?

I’ve heard about (and personally know) sisters and brothers who have left the deen because of the hardships or tests Allah is blessed them with. (That’s right I say blessed because every test is blessing because it is something Allah is trying to teach us). I know our ummah has it’s share of problems and that other Muslims sometimes make it difficult for us to exist as Muslims. But if a sister leaves Islam because Allah tested her with a horrible husband or a brother leaves because he fell out with some other brothers in the Muslim community what does it say about their trust in Allah? At the end of the day, what does the person or experience have to do with their obligation to Allah? (And believe me, I understand that sometimes people are new to Islam and they haven’t been shown the best example. I get that. I’m just sayin’.)  NO ONE, insha’allah, is going to cause me to leave this deen because I understand some things about it. Alhamdulillah, I am still Muslim because I KNOW that my relationship with Allah is bigger and heavier than any fitnah in the Muslim community, relationship with my friends, family or spouse. But mashallah, I have been blessed with this understanding by Allah.

And trust me, I am not speaking from a holier-than-position either. I struggle with these issues all the time. I “took a break” from Islam because of the things that happened to me when I was a new shahadah. But I never stopped wanting to be Muslim and I never gave up on myself or Allah. ALHAMDULILAAH! It took some time for me to understand the purpose of tests and to really get it through my head that I would not always understand why I was given the ones I was given. I had to accept that being Muslim is not always a comfortable ride. Allah says in Sura 29, Ayahs 2-3, “

Do people think they will be left alone as long as they say, “We believe,” without their being tried? We indeed tried those before them, and Allah does know who were truthful, and does indeed know who were false.

During those times I couldn’t say “mashallah” about the tests I was given. And I certainly couldn’t stop trying to fix things even when Allah was showing me that I had no control. I  actually spoke about giving up control to Allah but I was never really in control to begin with. I was only kidding myself. But again, ALHAMDULILLAH, Allah started putting me in situations where I had no one else to turn to for help BUT HIM. And even when I couldn’t quite grasp that lesson, Allah kept putting me in the same predicament until a light came on in my head. Like, “Oh, I get it now!”  (Charles you wanted ‘Muslim testifying’, well, I’m testifying, lol).

We talk all the time about Qadr but how willing are we to accept it? Yes, we need to do what we can within the bounds of our limited free will. And no, we shouldn’t stand passively by in this life, watch things happen and chalk it up to Qadr. But there is way in which we can carry our portion of the load but at the same time accept Allah’s Qadr. (Even more so when things happen that we do not like). But I digress….

The question still remains. Is Allah enough for you? If you didn’t have all that you currently have or if you had to start from scratch or if things weren’t going your way, would your love, faith and trust in Allah still be enough for you? 

Mi done preach…

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